


how punkin carbe

by writtenFIRES



Series: Egotober 2017 [1]
Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: ;), Egotober, Goretober, Markiplier egos - Freeform, Pumpkin carving, contemplated liberation of vegetables, easter eggs in october, general disdain for humanity's existence, pumpkin abuse, seriously lots of pumpkin guts everywhere, thanks blue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 18:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12238071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenFIRES/pseuds/writtenFIRES
Summary: Egotober Day 1: pumpkin carving/Goretober Day 1: bruisesBlue was beginning to question the article he'd read about pumpkin carving being a good "team building activity."





	how punkin carbe

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! So, here’s my drabble for Day 1 of Goretober/Egotober. The former is going to be a lot more loose and subtle of a theme for these drabbles, as I’ll be focusing more on the latter. But here’s credit to both before we hop in!
> 
> Goretober listing [here](https://mori-arts.tumblr.com/post/165700405936/just-so-you-know-ill-do-goretober-this-year).
> 
> Egotober listing [here](https://ego-surveillance-squad.tumblr.com/post/165423877706/heres-the-prompt-list-for-egotober-best-name-i).
> 
> Had a lot of fun with this one. I’ll be using the tag #egotober for these on my Tumblr, and also putting them all in a series here for easy perusal. :)

**Did you mean: _how to pumpkin carve_**

Blue was beginning to question the article he'd read about pumpkin carving being a good "team building activity."

Not only had he been forced to go out and interact with, _ugh_ , humanity to procure said pumpkins, but it was also proving to be more of a mess than he'd originally anticipated.

They really should have just put a mat down but he'd felt a special sort of enjoyment out of stealing Dark's newspaper for this. Unfortunately, now there were pumpkin seeds and chunks of the stringy insides littering the computer room floor. He'd probably have to clean it up too, as he tended to pick up after his brothers on a daily basis. They could be like children sometimes.

Imposing, powerful, intelligent children with metal skeletons but _still_. Children.

As could be seen right that very moment, based upon the results of their little pumpkin carving activity. Blue was still trying to figure out how so much carnage had occurred in just under five minutes. Gently, he squeezed the bridge of his nose, one hand resting on the perfectly carved pumpkin at his side. Nothing special, just a cliche face. It had been child's play.

Beside him, Oliver was busily hugging his own carved pumpkin to his chest. Blue couldn't be sure if it was out of affection or a desperate need to hide it from Orville, who... he would get back to in a moment. Oliver's pumpkin wasn't scary in the least. No, it was _adorable_ , with big eyes and a cute little grin. There were pumpkin guts in his hair. _How had he gotten pumpkin guts in his hair?_

Further down the table, Oxnard was beaming quite proudly. His pumpkin _was_ scary. Quite terrifying, actually, with all sorts of intricate detail Blue was certain Oxnard could only pull off as a Google. Otherwise it would have taken far more learned skill to make such pointed grooves, the scars, the needle sharp teeth. It would look positively wicked once it was set aglow by a candle. He'd also, somehow, miraculously not gotten a single speck of pumpkin on him.

It was even more astounding when one took in the state of the pumpkin resting beside Oxnard's; the android still huffing and puffing with a disturbing expression. Orville.

Oh, god, Orville.

His end of the table was an absolute massacre. Bits of pumpkin everywhere, coating his shirt and arms and face, splattered all over the floor. From the looks of it, Orville had not so much _carved_ his pumpkin as he had eviscerated and bludgeoned it. Blue almost pitied the thing, which was _stupid_ , because it was a vegetable. Yet, the notable bruises lining what hunks of shell it had left would probably evoke sympathy from anyone. Blue was certain Orville would have similar marks on his knuckles were they not synthetic-covered metal.

"I believe you missed the point of this objective-" Oxnard began, eyeing the mess with trepidation.

"It is cut. It is frightening. How have I missed the objective?" Orville was quick to fire back. Oh. He was staring down Oliver's pumpkin with some intensity. That question was answered.

"You were supposed to use the knife-" Blue tried.

"I did." Orville paused, looking over the remains of his pumpkin. "And my fists. There were no rules against the use of one's fists."

"You _destroyed_ it." Oliver accused.

"It is only a vegetable."

"It could still host _feelings_."

"Will your next objective be liberating the cucumbers from the refrigeration unit, then?"

"Maybe it will!"

"Please." Blue rubbed at his face, horrified by the notion of Oliver suddenly deciding produce was off the table- literally. "Orville, stop making obnoxious faces at Oliver. You are programmed better than this. Oliver, you cannot remove all the produce from the refrigertion unit."

"But-!"

"No."

"I do not comprehend your sudden concern for these vegetables," Oxnard cut in. "You gutted and carved a face into the shell of one, just now."

"His name is Larry and I gave him life. Sacrifices had to be made."

"Mine is Sergey." Oxnard's mutter went unnoticed by his brothers.

"I am going to crush him," Orville piped up with a wicked grin.

"No!"

"I will do it."

"No! Blue!"

"Orville."

"It is only a pumpkin!"

Blue buried his face in his hands as Orville proceeded to chase Oliver around the room, Oxnard simply watching and commentating from afar. Then Orville slipped on some pumpkin guts, crashing into Oliver and sending them both careening into the table- and Oxnard.

"Larry is okay!"

Blue peeked through the cracks of his fingers to eye the pile of androids and pumpkin before him, wondering if this "upgrade" was truly an upgrade after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you catch the ~~Easter~~ Halloween eggs? ;D


End file.
